Day 13 - My Lucky Day

Today, I accepted an offer to play for Saint-Cyr-sur-Loire Volleyball in Tours, France.  It feels a little like jumping off a cliff because I haven't even gotten used to the light switches being on the outside of the doors!!  Ahahaha!

My to do list:

1.  Cancel flight - Sorry, Amsterdam...  Until we meet again!
2.  Cancel phone service - Nice knowing you Verizon Wireless...
3.  Defer student loans - ACS, please burn to the ground.  ;)
4.  Find a yoga studio in Tours.
5.  Find an apartment in Tours (Yes, in that order...  ha!).
6.  Fill out a copious amount of forms for visas, USA Volleyball fees, insurance, etc.
7.  Find a side job (so I can eat like an athlete, not just some regular Jean-Paul off the street)!
8.  Get more clothes shipped from home so I don't look like a schmuck!
9.  Send a batch of post cards - this time - to all my enemies...  Ahahah - jk jk!!
10.  Keep working hard...  cause that shit works!  :)

Day 12 - I Had a Dream

I awoke in a wet warmth on the pavement outside a Target store. When I came to, there were workers spraying psychedelic graffiti art of targets all over the walls outside, turning doors into walls, and covering up secret compartments… A sliding glass door opened nearby so I wrapped myself in a thick, rough white cotton blanket and ran deep into the hospital-white hallway. I sensed some movement behind me, so I dodged into a women’s bathroom. There I found a locker room and a shower where many women of all ages, shapes, and sizes were engaging in what looked like post-game clean up. I joined them and nobody noticed that I didn’t belong (including me). When we were ready, the owner of Strauss Carpets called us into an adjacent room to talk to us. As we entered the room I noticed the girls’ faces more… Some were plump with darker skin and hair, some were very young and skinny, some were older with wrinkled leathery skin and light hair. The owner of Strauss carpets, a short, fit older man with tanned skin and white hair, looked at us through wire glasses and spoke in a confident tone. The team had a tentative, scrutinizing air... I forget what he said, but he was looking right at me and I was immediately overwhelmed with the thought “I’m here because of his generosity”. My eyes welled up with joy and shame and fear and I couldn’t help it – the tears just flowed…

I woke up in the spare room where I slept last night - sunlight pouring in through the window. My whole upper body was covered in sweat and the deep sense of gratitude from my dream was still strongly present in my mind and body. The generosity of others has brought me this far. I wouldn’t be here without my incredible friends and family. I can’t believe this is happening… I tryout tonight. Wish me luck!

...

I ate breakfast at the house and then spent the day sight seeing in Tours. It really is beautiful here and there is so much that reminds me of home... Seriously, don't laugh, but I was super stoked every time I saw a gay couple (like absurdly glad that people are out here). Haha! I walked to the City Hall where there was an exhibition on the new tramway they've built here. Cool artist, Daniel Buren, conceptualized the whole project and he has some amazing ideas. You can read about it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Buren

I checked out the town, the shops, the markets, and the churches. At 8pm, I met six girls on the current team and started working out with them. Everyone is white, which bums me out a little, but at least we're all different ages (13-36!!!!)... And, yes, you probably guessed it already, but I was, in fact, aced by that thirteen-year-old!

Seriously though, I hit well, showed off my fitness and my attitude, but didn't exactly give them the best example of my serve-receive passing and serving. The coach is SO AMAZING. She's perhaps the fittest fifty year old I've ever met. Very even keel. Knows her shit... I know I would be so so lucky to be coached by her. After practice, I shared a snack and a drink with the leadership and gave them my terms: an apartment, a bike, health insurance, visas, USA Volleyball fees, a salary, and possibly a ticket home. They seem interested in my ability to coach. The work required would be two practices and one game a week until May of next year. Obviously, I would have to put the extra work in to improve my game. They are going to counter offer tomorrow before the last train back to Amsterdam...

Very exciting! More later...

Day 11 - The KLM Counter

Welp. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not single enough, young enough, quick enough, strong enough... The reality is that I’m supposed to be getting on a plane home right now because I wasn’t good enough in anyone’s opinion to play professionally on this continent with any success… and let’s be real here. I’m not. I’m not good enough. I know what good looks like and I’m not it!!!!

But life, it seems, is not that simple. I’ve found that if I keep pushing, negotiating, thinking positively about my future, and meditating on the things I want come into being around me, the hard work works. And I’m not fooling around when I say that sometimes the hardest part has been letting go of what is.

… Because so what!?!? Maybe I’m not good enough, but I’m not going to let some stupid idea my brain made up hold my body back from what I know I’m capable of: working harder and getting better. The blind faith of others and a few bold decisions have brought me to the KLM ticket counter in Amsterdam this morning… I’m postponing my flight home until the 22nd and catching a train to Tours, France where I will attend a pre-season practice to tryout for a team there.

If the coach likes what she sees, I could be spending the next nine months incubating this hungry little caterpillar into a freaking beautiful volleyball monarch butterfly!!!

…

Stepping off the train in Saint-Pierre des Corps, I’m very travel weary. I stink and my shoulders are aching from carrying around these two big huge bags all day. I barely made my connection in Paris. The metro has changed since the last time I was here – there are no longer attendants selling tickets. It’s all electronic… Had I taken any longer to figure that godforsaken machine out it would’ve been a 50 euro train ticket from Montparnasse to Tours down the drain! Close one.

Finally settling into my seat for the last leg of my journey from South Paris to Tours was SUCH A RELIEF. Neither the Thalys nor the TGV had electricity or internet!!!! I guess we are spoiled with the trains in the states??!? This is news to me… I guess I’ve always generalized about the trains in Europe – thinking they’re the best. Even though I felt like I was a little stuck in the Middle Ages without the world wide web, I was able to utilize those six virtually uninterrupted hours to finally write and stamp the post cards I bought in Lake Bled. They are in the mail today!!

The treasurer of the club met me at the train station and took me straight to the home of the president of the club, where I’ll be staying tonight in a spare bedroom. He speaks perfect English. His demeanor is friendly and professional, and this won’t make sense in the context of this sentence, but he just screams FAMILY.

The president’s house was about ten minutes away. On the way over we spoke about the men’s club here and women who have played for the club from other countries in the past…  The president greeted us with a joke and a smile at the door. The walls of his two-story apartment are painted lime green and grey and decorated with zen photography and art (bamboo, leaves, rocks, you get the idea). His dog and cat are freaking adorable. His 21 year old son came out to say hello. We all sat in the backyard talking about me and them… After all the chaos of traveling, this moment was nice and casual and a little surreal...

After a while, they invited me to dinner in Tours to show me around and discuss more about the club. I accepted (Duh). They took me to the Italian restaurant in town where, they explained, the team goes for post-game dinners and parties. We sat at their usual table and ordered a bottle of wine. I ordered the Insalata Melanzane (a Mediterranean salad with eggplant, sun-dried tomatoes, and mozzarella). I talked about Billy a lot and our life back home. How supportive he is. How difficult this is for him and I. They said there is a four week break from December to January and that “when he comes to visit he must bring WINE!” Ahaha! YES!