On Overcoming Obstacles

Scars are cool.  When you're a volleyball player, bruises, floor burns, and contusions on your knees become kind of like badges of honor. Every scar has a story.  Well, the scars on my knees are kind of a long story...

I was a climb-two-stairs-at-a-time kind of kid.  At 6, I was the girl organizing a bracket for foot races with all the boys on the playground.  Athletically, I was never extraordinary, but ever since I can remember I've always *wanted* to be the fastest, jump the highest, and be the best.  That desire drove me to make the jump to a big, public high school volleyball team after playing two years for Victory Christian (a small private junior high in Fair Oaks, CA).  Freshman year I was most-improved. Sophomore year I was most-inspirational. By my Senior year I was captain on Varsity.  I've loved the game ever since.

Flash forward to college - In 2004, at our last home match against cross-town rival Holy Names (during my fourth and final season playing at Mills College in Oakland, CA), I blocked a ball and landed on a hyperextended right knee, causing my anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) to snap and roll up like blinds.

That December, I elected to undergo ACL surgery.  I awoke from sedation with my sister Sarah and my mom by my bedside.  The searing pain in my knee caused involuntary tears to pour from the corners of my eyes and down my cheeks and soak my hospital gown.  For fear of this pain returning, I finished all the prescribed meds (which left me useless and drooling on my parents couch for two weeks).  Haha...  This half-baked state was perfect for appreciating my parents' two thousand cable channels (mostly TCM and the food channel).  My mind was a perfect *mush* when I went back to Mills on crutches to finish my Senior spring.  But I was prancing around in high heels by graduation day and, the following August, after 8 months of physical therapy, I was back at Mills getting taped up for the Alumni match.

I continued to play, and in 2007, in a qualifying match at an outdoor grass tournament in Detroit, IL, it happened again, but this time to my left knee!  After planting a kill cross-court on the three meter line, a crack sounded out that sent shivers down my spine.  I knew instantly it was another ACL tear. This meant another surgery and another year of rest, ice, compression, and elevation (ie, no running, no jumping, no climbing two stairs at a time, and, worst of all... no volleyball!).

Six months later... After my second elective surgery, I stopped the meds after the first day.  Falling asleep without pain-killers that night was a little like jumping off a cliff, but I woke up basically pain-free the next morning.  It sounds crazy, but being awake and aware and not all drugged up helped me meditate on my body's natural ability to heal.  I put some of the tools my college coach, Marla Mundis, had taught me to good use.  As I dredged through 6 more months of rehab, I visualized my recovery.  This may sound a little ridiculous, but I imagined a mini-construction crew going up and down the inner workings of my knee joint on scaffolding, soldering and smoothing over all the rough surfaces.  Being off the meds also gave me the presence of mind to focus on the challenge at hand...  REHAB.  Once again, I re-learned how to stand, walk, run, tip toe, kneel, climb, jump, land, cycle, swim, and play.

Over the long run - being hurt was an obstacle that created so many positive outcomes in my life.  I became closer to my parents and Billy (who I relied on incessantly during this time).  My goal of maintaining healthy knees drove me into the yoga studio.  I started coaching to stay involved in the sport.  Ten years later, I'm still using my knowledge of ACL injuries to teach proper mechanics in the next generation of volleyball players: how to jump and land and quickly change direction *safely* and how to improve leg strength in ways that will support the whole body.  The rehab made me completely unafraid of square one.  Today I am fully recovered...  And now, I would venture to say that *my wounds healed me*.

The original injuries were scary.  They made me feel broken and (albeit temporarily) strangely robbed me of my femininity.  Being hurt changed the way I moved through the world and the way I saw myself.  However, the surgeries were even more scary.  Afterwards, I felt physically, financially, and spiritually crippled.  Violated and maimed.  And then, of course, this was abruptly followed by the demanding uphill road of rehabilitation, which required time, planning, and - most of all - conviction.  After my second ACL surgery, it took me a good five years to get back where I was (that is, back to taking stairs two at a time).

Now, I'm not sure if I'll ever stop taking two stairs at a time, but I know that if I do, I will do so knowing that my strength doesn't come from knees.  My true strength as a human being comes from a deep hidden place within me that I discovered thanks to my knees.  :)

Merry Christmas from Paris!

Today after breakfast I set out to run to the Eiffel Tour, and you’ll never believe this, but I ran for twenty minutes in the wrong direction.  Haha!  I was at the Place de la Bastille before I realized my mistake.  Due to this blind trust of my terrible sense of direction, what had started out as a forty minute there-and-back fun run turned into an hour and a half knee-grinding, hip-popping mini-marathon.  Oy!

When I did finally make it to the Eiffel Tour, I found it crowded with tourists from all over Europe and Asia.  I heard so many different languages: Arabic, German, Russian, Chinese, Korean, you name it!  Globalization at it's best?  My cold Christmas jog back along the Seine brought on the starkly contrasting feeling of solidarity with local hardcore athletes who were also running along the river alone.  Church bells all over town were ringing and a half moon hung in the day sky, making this particular Parisian morning just a tad more magical.  

I made it back to the hostel and realized that if I was going to get to yoga, I required a nap.  After a quick lunch, I conked out for a good two hours straight.  Yoga was calling, but first I had to turn the town upside down to satisfy my intense craving for banana nut bread (Thanks, MacDonald’s).  The five o’clock class was crowded, so we sweat a lot!  My back bends were back (Woohoo - I saw the tip of my mat!), but my legs felt like lead throughout the entire rest of the standing series.

I grabbed a mushroom and emmental cheese crepe from a vendor outside the Pompidou on my way home and made it back in time to skype with my family Christmas morning.  

Upholding a Moor Family Tradition

I woke up early this morning to skype with Billy and grab a decent breakfast downstairs: coffee, muesli, yogurt, and baguette with butter and honey.  Not bad! 

First order of business was to get some stronger coffee.  Then, buy some postcards.  Then, it was off to yoga.  Today, our instructor started the class in English and then asked me after the first posture of the standing series if she could teach in French for the sake of the French-speaking debutantes.  I, of course, nodded my head yes and we went along without another bump in the road.  I saw some minute progress in the back bends, but my triangle pose was really weak on the left side.  Again, a kink that will work itself out along the course of my ten days here.  After a nice shower, I started home, stopping into Sephora to shamelessly use all their testers (Sneaky or resourceful?  You choose!).  Maybe my lipstick was a little too pink because my remaining walk home resulted in blatant stares from strangers and a random guy (he must've been 20!) inviting me to a par-TEE.  I responded with awkward silence.

A restaurant in the neighborhood called Au Chien Qui Fume (At The Smoking Dog) caught my eye with a front window display of fresh seafood.  I thought, "What the heck!  It's Christmas Eve after all."  I sat down and enthusiastically ordered fresh oysters (a French tradition) and French Onion Soup (a Moor family tradition).  Though a little pricey and *a lot* lonely, this dinner treat felt right.  The service staff was nice and fast (a very unusual combination here by the way), and then the bill came.  Once I put my debit card down the staff ignored my table for a solid 45 minutes.  Were they giving me the cold shoulder? ...time to digest?  When I finally got someone’s attention, I ordered a petit café (espresso) to enjoy out on the heat-lamp-warmed terrace.  The people-watching on this night was spectacular.  A winter drizzle brought out fur collars, high-heeled boots, a million different color pea coats and the most elegant selection of umbrellas I’ve ever seen.  People were scurrying around with arm-fulls of last-minute Christmas shopping.

After writing and stamping a few postcards I walked to the Louvre courtyard where several glass pyramid structures lit up the dark stormy night.  The rain-soaked night air was refreshing, but my instincts (and my right hip) were telling me to turn in early.  So, I headed back to the hostel where a single bed warmly welcomed my yoga weary body with cotton sheets and a thin plaid flannel blanket.

J’aime Paris

My coach Maguy dropped me off at Orly airport today and, after climbing the smelly metro stairs and weaving through the streets of Paris, wet with recent rainfall, I found my hostel tucked in a touristy corner of town.  What this hostel lacked in ambiance and free wifi, it made up for in cleanliness, safety, and location, location, location.  (It's a stone’s throw away from the Pompidou, the Louvre, Notre Dame, and – this is the best part – a short walk to the local Bikram yoga studio!). 

It didn’t take me long to get settled in and then I was out the door to sniff out my second home for the week: the yoga studio!  Besides the obvious signs, like museums and Starbucks, one way I could tell I was in a touristy area is by counting the bagel and burger joints.  I found the studio without too much trouble and signed up immediately for a 10-day introductory class pass that included a mat and a shower (only 35 euros - what a deal - right?!). 

Ahhhh!  After all the delicious French food I've been eating, I'll admit my yoga costume didn't fit exactly like it used to...  Ha!  Nevertheless, it felt so great to push my hips and lock my knee for an hour and a half in the 40 degree heat and humidity.  The most difficult asanas were the back bends, which require the absence of fear, but I have faith that I will overcome that later this week.  After class, I grabbed a most delicious toasted whole wheat bagel with cream cheese (five months deep into France I figured a bagel was going to do me some good) and then stood in a long line at a Mediterranean deli next door to get fresh dolmas and hummus. 

It’s so great to be back in Paris.  I love everything about this city...  the sights, the sounds, and even the stinky smells.  

That's all for now.  More later!

Me, Myself, and Bike!

Without my strict regimen of yoga, karate, agility, running, stairs, weights, rock climbing, and swimming, I must admit that I haven't really felt like myself lately (though this feeling might also stem from the fact that my digestive tract has been fermenting a fetus' weight in baguette and croissant dough for the last 3 days).  Oy!  This blog has really helped me to cope with my feelings of being culturally displaced and lonely, and when THAT doesn't work, the pastries always do (Haha!).  :)

In all seriousness though, my foot is feeling way better, so it's time to quit the sweets and ratchet up my training again!

On Saturday morning, I went to the Jour des Associations in Saint-Cyr-sur-Loire where, once a year, all the local clubs get together in one big room and do show and tell.  It was really cool to see all the different displays of what's going on here.  There was a table for rock climbing, karate, the pool and the library!

In the afternoon, a friend of the club took me out to coffee (At Lavazza, they offer cappuccinos with and without whipped cream - GENIUS!) and then he gave me his own personal bike!  I rode home and immediately signed up for the first group ride I could find - haha - YES!

On Sunday, I rode into town early to discover that downtown Tours had been taken over by the annual flea market.  Cool antiques and stolen stuff from all over Europe was displayed up and down the streets.  It was a real feast for the eyes!  Furniture, china, porcelain, chests, lamps, dolls, birdcages, records, photos, books, woodwork, paintings, cigar boxes, just everything...

At 3pm I met up with some local cyclists for a guided tour of all the streets in Tours named after famous doctors.  Cool, right?  Most of the riders were in their 60s (fit as fiddles and sharp as tacks) - a very tightly knit bunch.  They shit talked motorists almost as much as Billy and me!  I felt immediately in my element.  It was nice to get accustomed to how people ride here (very cautiously, but without helmets mind you).  I feel so happy to be back on a bike and riding everywhere all the time again!  I started feeling more like myself right away.

Today, I went to the Jardin Botanique.  It was really misty and empty.  Beautiful opportunity to reassess my goals for the season.  Tomorrow, I have a weight lifting date with another player on the team.  I'm very excited about this - in a super nerdy way!

That's all for now.  More later!

Yoga In Europe

Maribor, Slovenia

Hotel Habakuk
11AM everyday
Language: Italian*
Level of Difficulty: Easy flow, poses, breathing exercises, and meditation.  Level was tailored to the group.
Location: Outside of town.  Best if you're already nearby (Ex Hotel Arena, Hotel Dras, or Hotel Habakuk).

*Teacher speaks five languages fluently and customizes her instructions based on the group.

Vienna, Austria

Bikram Yoga Wien Schottering
Daily Schedule Online Here
Language: English and German.
Level of Difficulty:  It's your basic bikram beginner series.  26 postures, 105 degrees, 45% humidity.  So, in other words, it's hell here too.  ;)
Location: Downtown Vienna.  Easy access to metro and bus lines.  15 minute walk from the center of town.

Tours, France

Ella Fit
Tuesday 9:30AM, Thursday 6:15PM, Friday 6:15PM
Language: French
Level of Difficulty:  Advanced, but not cardiovascularly. This class was difficult on a metaphysical level*
Location:  Tours proper, but more specifically, Les Halles.

*Can't quite describe it...  This teacher was extremely in touch with the intangible.  He really encouraged us to LET GO and explore our curiosity and acceptance of the unknown.  He kept saying stuff like "sense this, experience it as if it's for the first time and the last time", and we'd be doing something as simple as ankle circles.  Ahaha!  This was really good for me, but I miss the challenge of Bikram.  I'm gonna have to get into Paris very soon...

Clear Your Mind - Wipe It Clean

Photo used with permission of Mr. Lyle.

Starting Bok Fu at West Wind Schools was a decision I made a year ago today because I wanted more self-discipline, self-control during confrontation, and better mind-body awareness.  Now, looking back over the last year, West Wind School has given me so much more than that...  The teachers there made me feel like family from the get go.  I am so thankful to my sensei Mr. Lyle for everything he's taught me over the last year.  He has encouraged me to push my limits!  

Laughing Without Reason

Ahahah... So apparently Maribor, Slovenia was host city for the First International Festival of Laughing Without Reason... I think this is going to be a fun trip!!  

Check out this guy:

Billy Means Business

My Rock

Ladies - when you find an unlimited source of love, support, and encouragement - hold on tight!  Billy's strong ideas about right and wrong, his work ethic, his humanity, and his crack-me-up-from-out-of-no-where sense of humor have been my secret light in the dark for years.

Summer Training 2013: Agility, Conditioning, and Core

Photo courtesy of Angelique Gutierrez

Ladders x 4

-jog one foot in each square (f, b, r, l)  l and r variation are just grapevine/karaoke

-run two feet in each square (f, b, r, l)

-crawl (f, b) - this is one foot in one foot out one at a time

-advanced crawl (f, b) - this is one foot in two feet out one at a time

-monkey climb (f, b) - this is one foot in one foot out together

-scissor steps (r, l)

-dorsey flex (f, b, r, l)
-alternate jumping in and out (f, b)

-jump both feet (f, b, r, l)

-jump right foot (f, b, r, l)

-jump left foot (f, b, r, l)

Stairs x 4

running*

-one step at a time

-two steps at a time

-right side one step at a time (x2)

-left side one step at a time (x2)
jumping*

-one step at a time

-two steps at a time

*Relax and shake out your arms on the way down

Core x 3

30 toe touches

30 rowers

30 lay down to sit up switch arms to touch opposite toes

30 mountain climbers

Cool down legs, abs, and arms with foam roller.  

Meditate 5 minutes.

Mermaid Triathlon 2013

Photo courtesy of Dan Fisher

With a time of 01:06:05 I placed second in my age group and sixth overall.  This is such a fun event!  I highly recommend this triathlon for any ladies who want a great local fitness challenge.  Here's the link:  http://www.mermaidseries.com/alameda#!__alameda

Spring Training 2013: Agility, Conditioning, and Core

Ladders x 3

-jog one foot in each square (f, b, r, l)  l and r variation are just grapevine/karaoke

-run two feet in each square (f, b, r, l)

-crawl (f, b) - this is one foot in one foot out one at a time

-climb (f, b) - this is one foot in one foot out together
-jump both feet (f, b, r, l)

-jump right foot (f, b, r, l)

-jump left foot (f, b, r, l)

-alternate jumping in and out (f, b)

Stairs x 4

running*

-one step at a time

-two steps at a time

-right side one step at a time

-left side one step at a time
jumping*

-one step at a time

-two steps at a time

-right side one step at a time (x2) 

-left side one step at a time (x2)

*Relax and shake out your arms on the way down

Core x 2

20 russian twists with 8# medicine ball

20 sit ups with twist and punch at the top

20 rowers

20 flutter kicks*

20 scissor kicks*

20 lay down to sit up switch arms to touch opposite toes

30 mountain climbers (or reverse mountain climbers)

*Squish the grape!

Cool down legs, abs, and arms with foam roller.  

Meditate for 5 minutes.